Snowbound II: Idiots With Sport Utility Vehicles.

Another thing that irks me is the moron with the SUV. Not to be sexist, but most of the time it's a woman driver, and not because I think they suck as drivers, but because they are the group buying these gas guzzlers. No matter where I am going, if I wait long enough, I'll have some bitch in her friggin' Lincoln Navigator, hubs locked and in four wheel drive, right up my ass in a snow storm. Why? Well, because stupid, she's invincible in that thing, didn't you know?

Men will drive their 4X4 pickups just as aggressively, only seem not to tailgate. Most of the time they'll catch up with someone and give them a good 4 car lengths because they realize something the Navigator driver is completely clueless about: Four wheel drive is great in the snow, but it doesn't stop any better than two-wheel-drive.

So imagine my smug smile when someone has planted their full size SUV in the woods because they couldn't stop, and went right off the road. Oh, these people almost never get hurt, that's a given, and therefore, never learn to stop driving like an ass. I suppose it's a good thing that these people are behind me driving like Richard Petty in the snow and not in front. If they f up, then they lose ground, and if I'm behind them, I'll probably get tangled up.

The other side of the equation are the people terrified by frozen water falling from the sky. I recently got stuck in the early stages of a storm behind someone going so slow, my speedometer didn't even register a speed. I was 3rd in line from this tool, and the line trailed off behind me in a sea of cars. I can't imagine how bad it was.

I suppose both parties should just stay home when it snows. Neither can seem to drive with any discernment, and neither seems to give a crap about other people on the road, either they shove their car right up your ass and try to change your sexual preference, or they drive insanely slow, and won't pull over to let people - who by the way are making them more nervous and drive even slower - pass to be on their way.