Fast, Furious, And Dumb As Paint

So, like everyone this 4th, I celebrated by going to a display. On the way home, two kids in souped up Subarus, looking like they were straight out of "The Fast And The Furious" passed my family and I like we were actually going in reverse on I-190. This wouldn't be that uncommon except I've seen these same exact two little idiots before.

They are part of a growing population of brain dead 18+ kids who think a souped up 4 cylinder with tons of excess plastic and a loud muffler actually makes them a seasoned driver. Well, strap in, loser, I'm about to make you cash a reality check.

You see, you're young, impulsive - you know, defined with one word - stupid. You may have the flash and the noise, but I've got the backbone of solid steel. Drivers like myself know we don't have to break the sound barrier to really screw with people like you on the roadways. A timely, random lane switch while you book it at 120+ can send you into cardiac arrest, over a guard rail and into the trees. Because, ultimately, you may be fast, but you're also spineless.

Now I don't have an issue with kids who trip out their Honda Accord with tons of plastic, a loud muffler, and a "kickin" system. I think it's a waste of money to trip out an economy car, but I have nothing against it. It's when stupid little white punks who wear baseball caps and flip me the bird because I refuse to cut my hair drive them to set land speed records (which they will never do because there's this thing called the F-1 McClaren which is what a real speed freak picks up when he wants to quicken his pulse).