The Rapist that IS State Appointed Child Support

Since I am very angry about this and it's fresh on my mind, I am going to do tomorrow's blog a day early. But, since most of you have already read today's, you will see this on time tomorrow. That being said...

I only bring up this topic because I received a phone call from my ex saying that she decided to get a state order for child support where she lives because without one, the state won't send her assistance. I have a major bone to pic with all the raping lawyers and judges who are behind these stupid laws.

First the laws:

You MUST pay whatever the state says they think you can afford OR you go to jail until you pay. While in jail, you can't make money so when you get out you can't pay SO you go BACK to jail. A disgusting vicious circle that gets worse and worse.

Women are made to be the victims in these situations. Lawyers and judges go after men as though they just molested a 12 year old and stick it to them in every way they can. There is no exception. You MUST pay what WE say you do or we give you the guillotine. Shoot - they'd give us unmarried dads the chair if they could. These people will ruin an individual's life over a measley monetary issue just because they think they're making a point.

And don't fool yourself and say, "Well, women run into the same thing if a Dad has custody." NO THEY DON'T. It's a load of bull. Judges go very easy (for the most part) on women who are not in custody. They cut them breaks, lower payment amounts, and all kinds of other exceptions. It's a sexest system designed to make men out to be monsters. Granted, in my eyes, having a child out of wedlock is selfish to begin with as two people obviously don't want to make a commitment to each other for one reason or another, but both parties are wrong and only one is punished. The man.

I'm sick of this being the way it's done. It's an ugly cut-throat procedure run by the government to punish someone for knocking up someone else's daughter (before you argue with this, remember, we're ALL someone's son or daughter). It needs the hand of a Libertarian in it to adjust the laws so men don't get kicked around like the woman had nothing to do with it. Because if she DID he'd be in jail for rape.

Federal Court BLOCKS Do Not Call List

Someone please tell me this judge doesn't really have his head this far up his ass. For the complete story, you can go To MSNBC.

Holy S. Is this clown serious? The whole damn country shakes it's fist and says, "Stop calling me at dinner!" and this clown stands up and says, "Too bad, your phone line is NOT a right to privacy!" Where did this drone come from? And why is he in a high court?!

Telemarketing firms are run by disgusting people who do disgusting things in ways that would horrify you if they were practiced by your kid calling a friend. And yet, until now, we've allowed them free reign to call us, put us on hold to "...please wait for the next available operator." Who doesn't get annoyed by telemarketers regardless of when they call. We didn't ask for it, they just got our number out of a pool and placed the call after having an automatic dialer check the number about 100 times first (that's why you get all those hangups from an "Out Of Area" number.)

Telemarketing has long been a vile industry run by people who don't care how they make the sale, as long as they make the sale, and now the outcry from the public about how invasive this is has finally got the US Government to react. So when a Federal Court Judge decided this is an overstepping of bounds when the public majority asked for it, well, he's over-stepping his bounds. Put a sock in it, Junior. You're just big business' tool, being used to tighten the already stripped screws in the backs of the public.

TUESDAY DOUBLE EDITION!!!!

Internet Terrorists

No, they don't fly planes into ISPs, but they do pick fights with people, threaten to do things they would never get up and do and probably have a huge collection of teen porn on their hard drive. The internet Terrorist. Brainless, spineless and loud mouthed.

Most of these guys can't even argue at a formidable level. They spew "mom" jokes, s-bombs, f-bombs and c-bombs, which when all they are used in a tirade, are kind of pointless. Point and case: Yesterday I was in a live NHL draft. A guy whose screen name was starscream_74 (he's on yahoo let him have it) started the draft calling me a name when I asked if there was anyone there (a question that was valid since many times people don't show up and the computer picks all of the players for them).

This got ugly. I was calling him a drone who's mind was controlled by the American Music Industry and he could only manage to say classic metal musicians were all homos who did various activities with their mouths. Finally I'd had it.

I said, "If metal musicians are such homos then I dare you to go to this web site (plug the mighty Spit Like This here) and email Lord Zion and tell him how bad he sucks, you bloody townie." (Crap, I'm even starting to sound like Z...)

Now obviously this is very juvenile BUT... The argument ENDED there. I know he checked the site, I know he saw the band, and I KNOW it intimidated the hell out of him.

Why did I do this? For the sake of screwing with his very minimalsitic mind. He couldn't argue to save his own life. You could tell he did this all of the time and probably got off on getting a rise out of other people only I had the last laugh in the end.

Point of fact: Every mindless drone on the internet who partakes of "internet terrorism" is a guy who hasn't had a date since the Beatles last tour. So pay them no mind unless you're like me and very good at screwing with their heads.

A friend and I were talking about Liberals and how ridiculous they are and this came up. A story by Ben J. Mynh - Clever if I do say so myself. A little different for this page. Enjoy.

Duck And Moose: A Liberal View On Animals
Open scene, winter, a duck and a moose are sitting next to each other, both appear to be nothing more than bones and skin.
“Damn I’m hungry” The duck squawks.
“Yeah me too.” The moose agrees. “But since the human’s don’t hunt anymore, the population has gotten out of control.”
“Why have they stopped hunting us? We’ve been food for them since the beginning of time.”
“They used to take my kind’s pelts and make clothing and shelter out of them.”
“It’s like they’ve forgotten they are the ones responsible for the well being of the entire planet, which includes wildlife maintenance.”
“Maybe the humans expect us to stop having ‘relations’ with the females.” Moose says and the two look at each other for a moment before laughter takes a hold of them so hard they can no longer stay on their feet.
“There’s just not enough food to go around.” Duck says loosing the energy to continue laughing.
“Why don’t they hunt any more?!?” Moose exclaims exasperated.
“Yeah, I’d rather get shot than starve to death any day.”
“Yeah, it’s quicker.”
“And relatively painless.”
“Right.”
“HEY LOOK! A Human’s transportation! I can’t stand this anymore!” Duck says, gathering up the last of his strength and flaps his wings.
He flies off, soars around, and with a “Quack-ronimo!” He crashes headlong into the car. Screeching to a halt, the car stops. Two humans get out, pick up the duck and drive a way with it.
“Amazing” Moose says watching the car drive away with the dead duck, and pass another car traveling the opposite direction, heading for that same spot in the road.
“Well, it worked for him.” Moose says pawing the snowy ground. “I’m too hungry to argue with a quick death.”
Moose rears up and charges, top speed, toward the road. He’s charged at moving targets before, so he has the skill to aim correctly. He also has the timing just right to put him on the road, and in front of the car, one full second before the car will hit him. His hooves hit the tar, and he lowers his head and closes his eyes in anticipation.
The driver slams on the breaks, but not soon enough to keep from running head long into the moose. The car slams into the moose with such force, that both the moose and the car bounce off each other, and get thrown to either side of the road. The driver crashes through the windshield, and lands across the hood of his car, not moving.
“YOU STUPID IDIOT!” The moose shouts standing up, and charging the car again.
“Why in the hell were we ever afraid of you?” The moose rams the car several times, forcing it off the road. The driver, obviously dead, just flops off the hood of the car, and lays in the ditch.
The moose trots off the road indignantly muttering curses to all humans
“No wonder you stopped hunting us, you no good, son of a person.”
The next day the moose is sitting in the same spot, reading a news paper with the headline: “No seatbelt causes man’s death in freak car accident.”
“Stupid humans.” Moose says looking up to see a car he recognizes pulling to a stop along the same stretch of road. Two people get out holding a box. They walk into the woods a little ways, and open the box. Out falls a duck with it’s wing in a sling. Quickly the two humans walk back to their car and drive away.
Sighing, the duck ambles up to the moose and the two friends look at each other for a moment.
“How was I to know they were animal activists?” Duck says.
The end

Today I'm Angry With The Airlines.

Once again the incompetence and total lack of common sense on the part of this country has pissed me off. Evidently, while making her trek out to school in Washington state, airport security hunted down my girlfriend, stripped searched her and went through all of her belongings (minus the strip search, but the bastards may as well have done it).

In the process they X-Rayed her stuff including her PC erasing her hard drive (X-Ray Degauze hard drives because of their powerful technology) leaving her without a computer for School! Dammit! You people are so clueless!!!!

Yeah, we still have the same crack squad of savvy motivated individuals manning the helm of airport security except now they have more responsibility and they still can't handle the little they did have. And don't tell me the added military presence (if it's even still there) is helping. This is all just bull.

Now one may argue that anyone can hi-jack a plane and kill people so therefore everyone should be profiled, not just people on temporary visas to this country. But this lunacy is killing the airline industry's profits because people are sick of the nonsense. Why does an 85 year old woman need to be strip-searched? Because her "description" fits the profile?

Profile: Doesn't Travel Much. Rapid monetary exchange through bank accounts. Has several lay-overs.

Oh, they forget to bring age into it... 85 years old!!!!! She's not hi-jacking a plane, and you know it! Yet, because we are so damn politically correct in this country, we'll keep bending the elderly, college students and dangerous handicapped people over a chair and breaking out the latex glove because, "Dammit, we just cannot afford to profile one race!"

Liberals Vs. Conservatives - Would Everyone Please Just Shut The Hell Up!

Ok, Sunday blogs are a new one for me, but since I've been lacking in my daily blog responsibilities, I figured a new thing was welcome.

I happened to pass by Al Franken's new Book "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right." This title, is of course, BULL. Al Franken comes off as a spoiled little know-it-all. Not that I'm defending Ann Coulter (Treason). But by virtue of the fact that she is against Liberals puts her way ahead of the race when paired with Al Franken.

But why is it nobody gets it. Ann is off, Al is way off... It's sparked interest for me to write my own book. Remember "Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Stupid Idiot"? What if I wrote a book called "Al Franken Should Shut The Hell Up," and a sequel called, "Ann Coulter: While A Pretty Smile Is Poison From The Heart".

This is the fact. Until one of these two geniuses realizes what's really going on, all either book will be is a clever little opinion and anything but a solution. "Well, gee, you big loud mouthed arrogant little loser. What IS the solution, and for that matter, problem?"

Public Enemy # 1: The Rage That Is Political Correctness. -Man I am so sick of Soccer Moms who don the protest sign and flood the streets in support of political correctness. They are double minded when it comes to this issue. It's not ok for us to use Proactive Intelligence Screening, (a euphemism for Racially Profiling - or picking out the group of people who routinely terrorize us and harassing them constantly at the airport rather than making little old ladies from North Dakota face a wall while we search their inner cavities) BUT it's ok for a man to be portrayed as a buffoon on the commercials during breaks that occur on the 6:00 news. Hey, wench, it either goes both ways, or it doesn't.

Public Enemy # 2: Guns. -I'm sick of the Left trying to take my .44 away. If every passenger on all the flights hijacked on 9-11 had a gun, the planes would not have made it to New York. True, discharging a firearm on a plane will more than likely cause the plane to crash, but then maybe only 150 people would have died instead of 3000.

I'm not even going to touch Al Franken on either of these because he's a snot nosed little tool. Ann has not addressed either, and if you ask me, these are the biggest issues ruining our country. So maybe I should don pen in hand, and let everyone know what I think... Does it matter I don't have a four-year degree? Oh yeah, either does Al Franken.

The Job Log: From The Insider

Company: TJ Maxx

The Good Side: Tj Maxx is actually a great place to work. The Atmosphere is very casual, and your co-workers are for the most part, good natured, as usually is in Retail. Hours are flexible, and management is trained to have an open door policy. There is a 10% discount on Merchandise which is applicable to non sale items only.

Why It Sucks: Break is only a half hour. Management is cut throat if they decide for some reason they don't like someone. This is a job to brown-nose at. It will gain you job security and the alliance of management. Your discount, as stated, cannot be applied with any sale, clearance item or otherwise. Below 100$ it just doesn't cut it. Especially in the lower double digit range.

Extras: There always room for you to come back provided you didn't leave the company with an F-bomb and middle finger.

Woman In Florida Being Murdered

First, Educate Yourself.

Hot Story.

Entire History Of The Story.

Save Terry Schiavo Website.

This story disgusts me. Florida is standing up and saying it's okay for the state to step in and say it's time to pull the plug. The family has protested, Terri herself has protested. But, the doctors are telling all parties involved they know better. Actually, what they are really saying is, "This fat whore is taking up valuable hospital space, we need the room, tag her and bag her." How heart warming.

What's worse is a petition has gone in to Governor Jeb Bush asking him to intervene and he has ignored it. He has also received a number of phone calls from national talk show personality, Glenn Beck (on in 100 cities). Glenn has been simply hung up on. Someone should drag Jeb out into the street and Euthanize him with a sledge hammer. See how he likes it.

Florida is basically saying it's time to start rubbing a few sickly people out because they take up space. This should scare the crap out of the elderly who go down to Florida to retire. If I were them, I'd pick another state at this point. The minute they become a burden someone starts loading the gun to do them in.

This is a selfish act on the part of the people who reside in that state. And it's a combination of people, not just a doctor. Jeb is guilty of murder because he does nothing. Lawyers are guilty because they go over the top to make this happen. And the judge(s) who hear the case and rule in favor of the hospital are guilty because they justified it. How much more evil can this country get?

Oh The Hell With This: Businesses Still Moving To 3rd World Countries

Has it occurred to you lately that many of our proud industries are packing up and moving to 3rd World Toilets to further the exploitation of these poorly run countries so they can pocket more coin? Well, it's happening. And America is getting screwed in the process.

The big thing nowadays is to cut expenses by moving to a country where the weekly salary amounts to about $1.50 in American money. This is disgusting for 2 reasons. 1. They're exploiting foreign people who are treated like crap. 2. They are selling out the American economy.

These genius CEOs forget we buy the majority of their products over here in America and if enough of them move to Slobovia, Toiletstan and Crapsville, East Bum Screw, our economy will be decimated and people will be out of work resulting in no one left to buy their crappy products. BRILLIANT!!!!!

What's worse is while this is happening we are calling the blacks "stupid" by stalling an already ridiculous recall process in California because of a punch card. Why we chose the blacks as our "Weekly Moran" target, I don't know. But this issue pales in comparison to the storm looming over our heads brought onto us by idiotic CEOs who are so blinded by greed they can't see the whole picture. I can, and I don't have a PHD.

Job Log - From The Insider...

I've wanted to do this for a while. Every Friday I'll post a job, the benefits, and why it sucks helping you make a more informed decision if you would consider employment by such an establishment or if you'd even shop there.

Today's Job: Filene's.

Why It's Good: Friendly environment, nice people (for the most part), the potential to get up to 90% off merchandise as an employment benefit. Management will find the perfect fit for you no matter how long it takes.

More On The Plus Side: The people who work here are for the most part very cheerful. They wouldn't be in retail if they weren't. As far as the discount goes: Don't get all excited, you don't get a standard 90% discount on store items. It's 25 to 30% off. However when Filene's has one of their compounded sales, such as Filene's 1 day sale plus the early bird special, you can also apply your discount plus any coupons there might be.

Why It Sucks: Upper management are mostly kind, but also not to be trusted. Like any cut throat industry, they turn on you very quickly. Benefits are slow in coming. Medical and dental are 6 months in coming and it's not clear if they are even worth having - medical may be a "health matinence" plan, and dental may have high co-pays. You won't know for 6 months. Rotating weekends presume even a Christian will give up 2 Sundays a month for the greater good of the company.

Unexpected Bonus: No matter how you quit, or how many times, you can always go to the one across town and get hired.

"Patriot Act" Sucks

Before you read on, educate yourself if you're not familiar by following these links (warning, there is a lot to read!)

Official "Patriot Act" Draft

How The "Patriot Act" Could Effect You

I hate this. The idiot who drafted this up should call it "The Invasion Of Privacy Act". Because of this, we are one step closer to big brother. This is so anti-American, it scares me.

The other night a member of the media was interviewing a supporter of this bill. Yet he failed to answer any questions directly. Instead, all the viewer got was copout after copout. And what most people don't seem to realize is this is already law! (Check MSNBC link for that one.)

Don't be fooled, this clever little piece of paper was already written in one form or another way before September 11th. What the nasty little beasts who support it don't tell you, is they just didn't have a way for it to get approved. September 11th changed all of that.

An invasion of privacy must being taken in little steps. A dictator can't just start spying on people before he even takes power. He has to do it in bits in advance. And this is how it starts. One small law that gives the illusion of safety, and then a little more and a little more.

Why is it the people who stand up to change the world, and I mean, get up off of their asses to change something they don't like, are always evil masterminds such as Adolph Hitler?

This is what happens when you sit on your ass and let other people make your decisions for you. You wind up like the third world countries across the planet. Ruled by an evil dictator who craps on you every chance he gets.

Dammit America, do something. Get off your ass. I'm sick of being the only one.

When Music Becomes The Deciding Factor Of What's Cool

This weekend I was out with my girlfriend at a local fair. I was sporting my best Poison T-Shirt and enjoying the warm sunny day when a kid working one of the game booths started calling out, "Hey Bret, what's Up? Hey C. C. Deville, c'mere a second..." chuckling all the while.

I know this kid thinks he's cool, but - well, quite frankly, he isn't. Look, I realize Poison will never match up to the musical brilliance that is Godsmack or Disturbed. I mean, those two bands are way beyond brilliance. They transcend their musical genre and set the bar so high up the likes of Pink Floyd would just say, "Well, this is B.S., let's pack it in, mates." I mean Disturbed themselves made it clear we were in a new age of musical genius when they uttered this song,

"Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me


Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me,
You mother get up,
You f?!@er get up,
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me..."

How could that ever match up to the trite lyrics by, say, Savatage, who said,

"I believe in nothing
Never really had to
In regards to your life
Rumors that are not true
Who's defending evil
Surely never I
Who would be the witness
Should you chance to die

Father can you hear me
This is not how was meant to be
I am safe and so are you
As for the others destiny

I believe that situations
All depend on circumstance

Look away
Look away

Pictures at an exhibition
Played as he stood in his trance
Staring at his inhibitions
All the time believing
That it now came down to
Nothing but this chance"

While I smirk at Disturbed's attempt at being deep within the context of their supposed misery, the attempt is flawed. The song has 4 chords at most and it's completely laced in anger.

Savatage, on the other hand, is a different story. It's obvious the writer looks within himself for lyrics that are thought provoking. Also, for the untrained reader, the seperate lines are done in an operatic style. One singer reads line 1, another 2, and so forth and so on until the last block, where the group comes together in unison. The music is a eclectic panorama of styles: Classical, Opera, and Heavy Metal. Disturbed? 4 chords and hatred.

So maybe the kid who called out to me may or may not like Disturbed, but he more than likely listens to something similar. Let's hear it for individuality! Who's the real oddball, the guy who makes his own way and snags up titles no one knows, or the drab, un-original idiot who follows the crowd in style, music, and attitude? C. C. Save us all.

Don't Fool Yourself, Hilary Will Run

Ok, now it's time for me to piss off all the democraps and un-informed idiots in this country. As the title states, Hilary will run. Trust me. She's got an ace up her sleeve and she's going to play it.

The problem is: Hilary is a control freak bent on running the show. Are we ready for a woman president? The numbers say yes, but we'd rather have a black president first. Unless, of course, it's Hilary Clinton. The we all rush out to the polls, pen in hand. Are we nuts?!

Hilary will not be a good president based on the fact that she is so insanely head strong. You think George W. was bad? Wait until this one gets into office. I can't predict what she'll do with the country, but I know it won't be good based on the Clinton's over all moral track record. "It Takes A Village" never ceases to piss me off...

I would strongly advise anyone who calls themselves a voter to statistically research any canidate before voting and know what they stand for. This isn't a friggin' popularity contest, these people control the fate of the free world. And we don't want a trigger happy, anti-Christian in office who will drive this country further down the toilet than it already is.

Music Buying Websites Missing The Boat

I've been carousing the web the past few days looking into buying music where I can download only the songs I want. I've found something out. The nasty dragon known as the RIAA has it's evil little paws in this as well. Go to this website, and read EVERYTHING. Especially how many times you can burn the song, transfer the song, and on how many computers the song can exist. Hey Junior, once I lay my .99 down, what I can do with it on my own media and how many times I can do it is none of your concern. And stop making it all WMA, that's f'ing irritating!!!! The format of choice is MPfriggin3!!!

Man this pisses me off. The RIAA just doesn't get it. They don't control the media, I do. Once I buy it, it's my damn right to make as many mix CDs as I want. And I also don't do media on the same computer I surf from, so all these limitations are leaving a percentage of the population out to pasture.

They need to remember, there is always a way. While WMA is un-friendly with most software I have, it can be converted to the trusty old MP3. Also, if you burn a WMA file onto a DATA CDR, it becomes Read-Only, which means it can't log all of this stupid data that tells it how many times I've done what where with it.

So until they give me what I want, my money goes to sites like MP3.com where once you have membership, the music is your to mix as you wish, wherever you wish. Maybe the RIAA will catch on someday, but with their track record, I doubt it. Remember these greedy bastards - they are suing $750,000.00 per copywrite infringment on kids who probably work at Burger King.

More Traffic Stuff

Since most of us hate other people in traffic, I feel I can never exhaust this topic. In my town, the newest thing is for people passing through to try and beat the cops. Except they won't.

My girlfriend was going home the other day, doing the speed limit up Rt. 117, which happens to be 35MPH. Except that nobody wants to do it. Most want a minimum speed of 45MPH. Well, beware, because there are people like me in traffic with a radar detector, and I'm going to use it to set you up if you're bullying other people.

Here's how to nail an aggressive driver. Play chicken with him. If he wants you to go faster, do it. When the detector goes off, start slowing significantly as the signal increases. You want the idiot behind you to pass you un-knowingly which causes him to blow by the cop.

I've done this a half a dozen times with extreme success. All 6 people got stopped. At least 4 got tickets, not warnings. You see, when your on good terms with the local boys in blue, it's easy to attain this information.

Most of all, if you are an aggressive speeding driver, watch yourself. Because people like me are going to set you up all the time.

Minnesota Teenager Being Made Scape Goat

Does this really suprise anyone? We can't find the guys who actually wrote the worm, so we're going to make an example out of this kid. Read the article at Yahoo News. Except the point won't be made because technically, you've got the wrong guy. Now I hate to defend anyone who's even dabbled in virus writing, but this is really dumb.

Yeah, ok. Jeffrey Lee Parson made modifications to the worm. And who out of the group of us doesn't want to take a sucker punch at Microsoft for all the problems that plague windows platforms. Personally, I've had to re-install Windows ME at least 30 times over the past 2 years because it just crashed.

But, they've got the wrong man. The guy who wrote the MSBlaster worm is still on the loose (if you can call it that, it's only a computer for crying out loud, not the Earth's Oxygen supply). So what point is making an example out of Jeffrey going to make? How about absolutley zero.

We should really look at how dependent we are becoming on computers. And with the crack team of savvy motivated individuals at Microsoft, that scares the crap out of me. They can't seem to write a piece of software that doesn't screw up one way or another.

So I'm not sure if exploiting Jeffrey Parson will help. In fact, it just looks dumb when the FBI makes an example out of a kid who may be able to hack another program but not write his own. The message will no doubt be lost that, "This is what will happen if we catch you." The FBI doesn't seem interested in taking the case beyond Jeffrey. They seem to be wrapping it up.

Man, I'm glad it's not the planet's Oxygen supply if that's the case...

Critics Are Idiots

Whenever a movie gets rave reviews, it amazes me anyone goes to see the movie. Point and case. Critics slammed Terminator 3. They hated it. They called it weak, plotless and awful. And guess what? It went out and kicked ass in the box office. Sure, maybe it didn’t dominate, but it did really well, and the critics just moved on. So when Freddy Vs. Jason, they said, “Fans will go out to see this because it’s a cult film.”

The art of critiquing movies has gone right down the toilet in recent years. Critics don’t know what’s going on. They are clueless. Things come out of Hollywood that are phenomenal that the critics give no credit.

In our society any idiot who has a journalism degree and a pen thinks he or she is qualified to bash a few movies because it doesn’t fit the mold of what they think is classic. I suppose now the both Bob Hope and Frank Sinatra are dead, we’ll never make everyone happy.

People never compare originality, they always use backwards comparisons where they take a movie like T-3 and put it up against the Maltese Falcon. Except that the movies are from two separate decades and not comparable.

But we must accept this. The more indignant our journalists get, the more jaded the reviews will be. Sooner or later, a critic will put a liberal spin on why “Blade III” is exactly why we need to make Political Correctness a law.

Email Scams, Hoaxes, And Worms - This Is A Late Friday Post.

Not a day goes by where someone doesn’t email you an email with specific instructions for good luck. “Email this to 400 people in your address book and you will have good luck for the next year. But, if you ignore it, a Scandinavian cockroach will molest you."

And then there’s the “SoBig,” and “MSBlaster” worms, that wiggle their way through your connection and rape your computer’s hard drive.

And of course, who can forget the recent email sent to people with the subject line, “Vital Microsoft Update”. Should have clued people in that it was sent to POP3 accounts.

I have spent hours of time thinking about what reasons could prompt any human being to sit down and write a hoax email, worm, or Virus, and I’ve come to this educated conclusion. People are assholes.

Hoax emails are my favorite because they require thought and creativity. A few examples of this:

*The US Post Office is making a commerative Muslim Stamp! Remember September 11th? Remember Iraq? Blah blah blah? Mail this to everyone you know! Let’s stop this!!!

Ok. This one is dumb because it’s worded badly. An obvious racist also writes it. While I personally hold the belief that 90% of the Islamic population hates anyone who isn’t Muslim based on things I’ve read from their own bible, the Koran, I also don’t believe this email. First of all, the Post Office is wise enough to know this would piss most of the population off since most of us believe the nation of Islam hates us. Secondly, this guy obviously has an axe to grind, and he wasn’t smart enough not to let it show in his email.

*If you email this to 1000 friends, a $30.00 gift certificate will pop up on your screen for Outback Steak house. (also Steakloft, TGI Fridays, Applebee’s, or a pop culture-esque restaurant in your area.)

This one is particularly dumb because there is no way to trace email from one user to another. Yet, this one never goes away. And someone always falls for it. It’s also dumb because the number of people you have to email it to almost always exceeds 50.

*Subj: Better Send This Along! Not Cool! Found It On My PC. Text: If you search your computer, you will find a program called Watson.exe on your computer. It’s set to run on 1/1/2004 (or whenever). When you find it, delete it. I searched all of my computers and it was on every one!

This one annoys me. This was obviously written by some computer savvy dork that hasn’t had a date since the stock market crash of 1984. He thinks its hysterical to get people to delete non critical windows installed programs that have some very obscure and un-important task. Tee-hee. The program itself varies, but the threat is always the same. It will run on a certain date, and your computer will explode into flames.

Yeah. These idiots have no life. What’s depressing is how many people they are able to fool. I can say with every degree of honesty, they have not fooled me in at least 5 years; I’ve only been using the net for 6.

Music, Money, Mayhem - Shut Your Trap

I'm tired of religious zealots donning the name of God and saying certain music is of the devil if it has a certain tempo and beat. As a Christian, I do not now, nor have I ever agreed with this thinking. To sum it up: It's neanderthal and puts limitations on a God who's supposed to be all-powerful.

Now there are bands that read this page that have issues with Christianity which may spawn from this very thinking - so I challenge fellow Christians. Because of this kind of mentality you have done less to win people to your cause than to draw them in. Hell. They already have to give up pre-marital sex, why would you add more to that already exhaustive list?

The biggest target for a long time was Metal. And this is a mammoth genre spanning over 10 sub genres - one of which includes Christian Metal. Oh, don't think the zealots haven't attacked this one, my friends. One person told me, "I think Christian Metal is an Oxy-Moran." Well, there's a moran in there for sure...

Life is too short to categorize every little thing in life as good and bad, and no deity - living or dead - ever left us at the helm to decide such matters. Further, when it comes to music - unless the artist adds subliminal messages ordering you to go out and kill in the name of the Iron Gypsies - or whatever the band's name is - then, you shouldn't go make value judgements. Instead, if you think a music style is bringing you to a certain place, don't listen.

Get My Gun, Mama

Ok, I know I'm going to step on some toes this morning. But, quoting the movie Biloxi Blues, "When you start compromising your thoughts, you are a canidate for medocrity."

Guns. The left hates these things, and for that matter, so do some of the right. But let's face it, if every American citizen was carrying a loaded weapon, well, terrorists would be a little less anxious to get over here and cause trouble. Hell, a plane may have gone down on 9/11 because a passenger discharged a firearm in attempt to stop an act of terrorism, but then thousands of lives lost in the twin towers would have been saved.

Now the left argues that we need to make guns unavailable to people who would use them to hurt others can't get them. So, in effort to do this we have all kinds of gun control. Some would like to see guns erradicated in this country. Let me think. Would this work?

Well, controlling an item has been attempted before but it didn't seem to stop it from being widely available. I mean, the FBI, CIA, and ATF have done a bang up job keeping illegal narcotics off of the street. And I don't mean Marajuana, I mean the big ones like Heroine and Cocaine. If I wanted a fix right now It would probably take me 20 minutes to find a dealer.

So it's irresponsible to think that anyone could control guns. I hate to quote over stated bumper stickers, but it's just so true: "If they outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns." Very very true. Just look to the friendly neighborhood drug dealer to see that.