French Fried Losers

I'm so sick of the French. They walked on us when we needed them in Iraq, and now they have the nerve to ask us to intervene in Liberia. What? How the hell is Liberia's problems any different than Iraq's? Both are opressed, and both are toilets run by a dictator.

It's a lucky thing I'm not a president because I tend to be very impulsive and I would officially delclare France an Enemy, outlaw Franch Fries and rename them Cooked Potato Sticks, and French dressing, rejected, and shipped back to France - even if it was manufactured here. French wine? That's the UN French spokesman complaining that the US shouldn't declare war on Iraq, right?

Look, we all know who our allies are, but we seem to be a mere conveinance for the Frenchies. They run when war hits - every time - and use us for what seems to be their own political agenda. Whatever. Who needs these wuss bags.

NEWSFLASH! Money Doesn't Make It All Better

That's right. So all you tools opening your wallets taking the Catholic church, fast food, and big tobacco can shut them and sit back down.

I'm tired of hearing on the news the uncreative garbage that sue for everything from Malpractice to suing a fast food chain because they got burned by hot coffee. First of all I cannot believe someone is that stupid to not realize coffee and hot kind of go hand in hand.

Now the same group of savvy motivated individuals is going after what they've labeled "Big Food", which reflects "Big Tobacco" of the 80's.

We've all watched while sex abuse victims have tried to send the Catholic church into bankruptcy by filing the, "I"m wicked f'd up, give me money to make it better," suit.

Guys, this doesn't work. Cash isn't a band aid. Sure one could argue it's to bring these pedophile priests to justice - but 3 Million for "pain and suffering"? These people are using cash as a bandage over a wound that runs far too deep for convential fixes.

Ultimately, what started as someone wanting a little justice turned into the latest "Jackpot Jury" craze.

Greed. Someone should sue greedy people for being money motivated idiots and the loser should have to pay the debt to society by donating 30% of their jackpot winnings to a charity. That should weed out a few lawsuits.

Shut Up And Drive!

Because of my recent rant on why the government has no damn right to tell us to wear seatbelts, it may suprise people that I think a law that tells people to "Shut up and drive," is long overdue. Well, let me explain why this is such a great idea.

It's an American choice to wear a seatbelt. We shouldn't be made to wear a seatbelt just because a few insanely stupid people are allowed to have licenses. Otherwise, maybe dumb, angry, overly agressive drivers just shouldn't have licenses. I can offer chapter and verse how you cut insurance rates that are hiked because some tool didn't want to buckle up. But this rant isn't about that.

Someone not wearing a seatbelt doesn't endanger my life or threaten my well being, a cell phone user does. People who refuse to purchase a hands-free unit for their Nokia and then have the nerve to flaunt their six figure income by buying a status symbol such as a Mercedes or BMW, shouldn't be allowed cell phone privledges. They're willing to spend fifty thousand to one-hundred thousand dollars on a friggin' car, but not thirty bucks for a hands free unit.

So the government has to step in because there are too many cell phone related traffic accidents.

Incidently, "that awful dress Kim wore to Anastasia's wedding Saturday..." is not considered "stop the world I need to make a friggin' phone call during rush hour traffic" priority. And research shows that most of these calls are being made just because the user has a cell phone. The call isn't necessarily important. In fact, more often than not, it isn't.

So yes. I'm happy Beacon Hill is stepping in and shutting people's phones off. Violators who still won't use the now legally required hands-free unit should be forced to publish their number on the bumper of their car so the rest of us can call them and say, "Shut up and drive!"

Some Churches Not Getting It

No, I'm not going into some kind of religious tangent, but I have to address something that really irks me. Legalistic churches. Now this wouldn't even be an issue except they bug everyone with the cute little "Get to Know Jesus" pamphlets they mail out to everyone on your block.

Look. Most churches ultimate goal is butts in the seats. In modern times, you will not accomplish this with a "parking lot conversion" attempt. In fact, if you've done anything, you've ruined any chance that person might come to your church at all. Yet, certain legalistic circles do this - and more!

Among the "parking lot conversions", there are also certain circles where meat is a sin, along with the wearing of jewelry, certan haircuts and numerous other rules. People, legalism kills a church faster than anything. People feel suffocated, and crowded. Not to mention legalism goes against New Testamment readings which I won't go into right now.

Get over it. Step away from the box and learn another way, you're killing your own cause.