2003's Jackass Awards Vol. 1.

The year was a big one and there are a lot of stupid people out there. It's tough to pick the ten best but I'll have a stab at it.

Let's start with Angry Helen from Worcester. While I was working for WTAG over the summer, I observed a very new and un-usual kind of stupidity. People who hate what they are listening to on the radio and won't change the station. Helen makes this list by virtue of the fact that she is the picture-perfect example of this.

Yes, I realize she's probably been listening to WTAG all 89 years of her life on earth (which is a record since WTAG is only 75 years old), but she probably should have probably complained when "Lux Radio Theater" went off the air back in the 1950's rather than waiting until 2000 to complain about The WTAG Morning News Team. What she should do is just let it go, turn the dial to Swing 830, WCRN, enjoy the classic swing bands from the 30's and 40's, and just move on.

So Angry Helen, representing the League of Extraordinary Adamant Radio Listeners, makes the number 10 slot of 2003's Jackass Award winning a simulated leather wallet.

Mad Cow Disease Strikes, Casualties In The Billions...

Mass hysteria struck Tuesday when investigators found meat from a single cow had poisoned and killed billions of people. George W. Bush declared a National state of emergency and immediately had the terror alert level raised to red. Experts are citing that this may in fact be an attack from Muslim extremists.

Shortly after the national state of emergency had been issued, a state of martial law was put into effect and all civilian weapons were retrieved. The books "Uncle Tom's Cabin", "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer", "Huckleberry Finn", Anne Coulter's books "Treason" and "Slander" were are collected and burned in front of the White House.

Further, the constitution was amended and George W. Bush took a lifetime oath of office. He immediately banned Smoking, Red Meat, Pork, Chicken and Fish along with Caffeine and any weight loss supplements. The White House says further action will be taken.

Hmm... All from a single cow... Does it seem like the media may enjoy instilling panic?

Just Be Real.

Something has recently occurred to me that bugs the hell out of me. Dishonest women. Now I realize it's much less confrontational to give a bunch of cop out answers over the phone long distance when you break up with someone, but this accomplishes nothing.

Ladies, if you meet someone new while you are away at college, just fucking say so. For shit's sake, this is not rocket science. Telling someone the girl reasons, "It's not you, it's me," "We both deserve better", "I feel crowded" blah blah blah when what really happened is you met what you perceive to be your soul mate (although chances are he's really a horny lying sack of shit trying to get in your pants) is bad on many levels: It's dishonest, hurtful, unfair and wrong.

This is just one example of lying women who don't get it. There's also the turn-down, which also pisses me off. "You're not my type." "I'm with someone." "I'm a Lesbian." Just say what you mean. "Yeah, um, you dance like a homosexual lizard with ice in his pants... I want someone at LEAST somewhat normal."

One things for sure, if you tell THIS personality one of these "Chick Cop-Outs" you're going to get a very abrasive,"Here's a dollar and go fuck yourself you bitch." I want real, and I want honesty.

Normally, my blogs are not this vulgar, but you can tell, I'm not very happy with this...