A New Toy To Play With. Vince Vs. John Kerry, Presidential Canidate.
John Kerry

Yes, THE John Kerry. Evidently, he's also a blogger. By the looks of things, he doesn't find it horribly necessary to keep in touch with his canidates. Let's pick this blog apart piece by piece, shall we?

First, he starts with the usual bragging. "Here are all the great things I've done..." And in HIS posted order they are...


1. Addressed the South Carolina Jefferson Jackson Day Dinner (Dick Harpootlian, if you're reading, I'd like to tell you that "You Da Man!")

2. Addressed the DLC

3. Addressed the Congressional Black Caucus (As I'll be reminding you throughout the campaign, I was the first Senator to call for Trent Lott to step down as Senate Majority Leader)

4. Won re-election to the Senate by a landslide, with 81% of the vote

5. And, of course, I became the second Democrat to (un)officially throw my hat into the ring for our party's nomination for President of the United States by starting an exploratory committee.

Hooray for you. May I politely remind you of your party's communist ideals... Yeah, you are now running for president, even if you can't make up your mind what you stand for. And I could give a toss about the other issues. People in Massachusetts vote for you because they are deaf, dumb, and blind idiots. So your 81% victory is simply not impressive. NEXT!

Not to brag or anything, but I'm mopping up the competition in fundraising right now, and I frankly don't see anyone surpassing us in the long run. But it's going to be a long, vigorous, and vital campaign, and I look forward to discussing with my fellow Democrats and Americans our vision for the future of the country. It will certainly be bright if I am elected!

Too bad you're just as dishonest about fund-raising as the Republicans are... NEXT!

I suppose that's all for now. I'll try to be a little bit more diligent about keeping in touch this year, but hopefully you'll understand if I'm not able to. Between stopping the Bush-Lott juggernaut's far-right agenda in the Senate and presenting the alternative Democratic agenda both in the Senate and in my campaign, (and not to mention dealing with petty little things like that ridiculous haircut story-not that I stayed up at night thinking about it or anything, but I have to say that it frustrates me a lot to see people trying to smear me for such superficial and petty reasons as how and by whom I have my hair cut. And then they throw in a little bit of class warfare-ism by implying that I'm out of touch because I spend $75 on my coif. But I haven't been able to get anything cheaper than that since I was at St. Paul's, frankly, and I'll be darned if my hair looks as anarchic as it did back then!!) I'll be plenty busy! I'll leave you with a picture of someone even more beautiful (and with even better hair!) than myself: my wife Teresa.

Well, he blew it on the first point. Here it is October and no one's heard word one since this was posted back in January 2003! He also speaks of the Marxist "alternative" Democratic agenda which is more or less, "I'm from the government, I'm here to help you." Screw you, Kerry. I don't want your help. As far as the haircut goes, UGH. Hair Cut? Who cares? How about some issues if you are (did) going to run? And then he assaults everyone's senses with a picture of that horse he married... But as luck would have it, he went to the AOL School of hyperlinking and you can't see it. Thank God!

We all know that the presidential race is another "ho-hum" game where the lesser of two evils will get voted for. No one votes for the qualified guy, they vote for the guy who will screw the country up less. My money's on Mike Badnarik.