Mad Cow Disease Strikes, Casualties In The Billions...

Mass hysteria struck Tuesday when investigators found meat from a single cow had poisoned and killed billions of people. George W. Bush declared a National state of emergency and immediately had the terror alert level raised to red. Experts are citing that this may in fact be an attack from Muslim extremists.

Shortly after the national state of emergency had been issued, a state of martial law was put into effect and all civilian weapons were retrieved. The books "Uncle Tom's Cabin", "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer", "Huckleberry Finn", Anne Coulter's books "Treason" and "Slander" were are collected and burned in front of the White House.

Further, the constitution was amended and George W. Bush took a lifetime oath of office. He immediately banned Smoking, Red Meat, Pork, Chicken and Fish along with Caffeine and any weight loss supplements. The White House says further action will be taken.

Hmm... All from a single cow... Does it seem like the media may enjoy instilling panic?