Terrible, Awful Video Games Are The Spawn Of Satan

Friday afternoon I spent 4 hours playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City. I think I understand why parents are losing their minds over this game by Rock Star. Maybe it's because it's the video game equilivent of buying an NC-17 Movie for your 10-year-old.

Seriously, would you go out and buy a copy of "Bloodfest 12: Obliviated Bodies - by Riot Act Pictures" for your kid? Not likely. But there are "parents groups" who have a big problem with this game. Hmm. Let's use a little logic here:

See, GTA 3: Vice City wasn't designed for kids. It's clearly designed for stressed out adults who would never act out violence in the real world, but are seeking that stress release they need after battling it out with stupid drivers on Amierca's Highways, bosses with ego problems, and way too long office hours. That, or the game is just designed to be a bloodfest and your typical shoot-em-up theme, reminicent of N.A.R.C. But N.A.R.C. was ok, because THAT game was a bunch of cops slaughtering drug dealers.

Video games are entertainment. Nothing more. And, as with anything, if hi-jacking someone's IROC, running down pedestrians and taking sniper shots from a 3 story building for hours on end is going to cause you to fly over the edge, you should probably steer clear.

Experts argue that such suggestive pursuasion is not possible. It's like saying Van Halen's "Jump" is going to prompt you to commit suicide. Although video game graphics are much more suggestive, I doubt Mr. Suburbanite is going to weild a chainsaw in the name of vengeance just because he owns GTA: Vice City. In fact, I think the opposite would be true. Due to the satisfying graphics of people being blown in two, it should alleviate some of that stress.

And, if you have to find some justification for destroying people and blowing things up, just enter the cheat code for the Tank or hi-jack a police car and go into vigalante mode. Point and case: Just in enjoy the game. It's only fantasy.