Mad Cow Disease Strikes, Casualties In The Billions...

Mass hysteria struck Tuesday when investigators found meat from a single cow had poisoned and killed billions of people. George W. Bush declared a National state of emergency and immediately had the terror alert level raised to red. Experts are citing that this may in fact be an attack from Muslim extremists.

Shortly after the national state of emergency had been issued, a state of martial law was put into effect and all civilian weapons were retrieved. The books "Uncle Tom's Cabin", "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer", "Huckleberry Finn", Anne Coulter's books "Treason" and "Slander" were are collected and burned in front of the White House.

Further, the constitution was amended and George W. Bush took a lifetime oath of office. He immediately banned Smoking, Red Meat, Pork, Chicken and Fish along with Caffeine and any weight loss supplements. The White House says further action will be taken.

Hmm... All from a single cow... Does it seem like the media may enjoy instilling panic?

Just Be Real.

Something has recently occurred to me that bugs the hell out of me. Dishonest women. Now I realize it's much less confrontational to give a bunch of cop out answers over the phone long distance when you break up with someone, but this accomplishes nothing.

Ladies, if you meet someone new while you are away at college, just fucking say so. For shit's sake, this is not rocket science. Telling someone the girl reasons, "It's not you, it's me," "We both deserve better", "I feel crowded" blah blah blah when what really happened is you met what you perceive to be your soul mate (although chances are he's really a horny lying sack of shit trying to get in your pants) is bad on many levels: It's dishonest, hurtful, unfair and wrong.

This is just one example of lying women who don't get it. There's also the turn-down, which also pisses me off. "You're not my type." "I'm with someone." "I'm a Lesbian." Just say what you mean. "Yeah, um, you dance like a homosexual lizard with ice in his pants... I want someone at LEAST somewhat normal."

One things for sure, if you tell THIS personality one of these "Chick Cop-Outs" you're going to get a very abrasive,"Here's a dollar and go fuck yourself you bitch." I want real, and I want honesty.

Normally, my blogs are not this vulgar, but you can tell, I'm not very happy with this...

Change.

The name has changed again. Due to my total lack of interest in the American music scene past 1993, It totally eluded me that there is ALREADY a "Revolver" publication.

Thankfully, there are hundreds of different weapons out there I can rename to until I find one that some drone isn't using as a shrine to 3-Chord shoe gazer bands (such as Revolver Magazine, the tools). Don't worry, the name is the only thing changing.

Peace On Earth And Good Will Towards Whoever.

Since it's Christmas eve and I don't want to spoil the holiday by whining about how bad people act the day before Christmas, I think I'll render something more positive.

It's Christmas. Whether you're Christian like myself and look towards the sky at Christmas time or you just get into the holiday, one thing is for certain: People (for the most part) change on Christmas. Now obviously the minute they get behind a wheel it's Christmas with the devil, but there's a positive side.

For one, Charities experience a spike in donations. Oh, don't give me the excuse "Well of couse they do. There's a friggin' Salvation Army Santa on every damn corner!" It's all charities. People get this light from their head to the world and feel more positive. Yes, even the Scrooges who curse the holiday because they've over burdened themselves with gift giving via a list of 75 people they know. If they didn't want to see the smiling faces of their friends on Christmas, they would toss the list to the wayside.

Some people will say it's the position of the stars in the sky, the moon, the gravitation and other celestial factors. Still others will site obligation and guilt as why people give more at Christmas. I prefer this explanation from "The Christmas Attic" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra:

"There is something about this night,
That the Lord has arranged,
That reaches deep into our souls,
And causes us to want to change."

Merry Christmas.

PETA Pissing Me Off...

Read Full Story Here.

PETA needs a clue. I mean one that comes in the form of a 50 pound sledge-hammer. Not only are they telling little children that "Mommy Slaughtered A Kitten" but they were also on the radio recently saying that "...milking cows is cruel and un-usual to the animal." Are you f'ing serious?!?!

I suppose they're right. We should probably just let the cows DIE instead of being milked.

If you're going to have an organization that protests something as controversial as leather wearing, meat eating and other things that require a dead animal to accomplish, you should at least find representatives who don't have demonstrations using "...Vandalism, destruction of public and private property that often lead to arrests."

Its the same thing as the anti-war people. They have a point to make about peace, and so, they set fire to buildings, throw rocks at police, and cause general mayhem. Ok, um, where was the peace message exactly?!

PETA is lead by a bunch of out-of-touch, rag-tag, java sipping hemp bag toting lunatics - wait those are the same ones who protest war, hmm - who don't understand an organized presentation. They would rather try to assault people's senses with graphic pictures and fire. By the way, if a Pro Life advocate can't get results with a picture of a mangled fetus, it's sure as hell not going to work with an animal.

Get a clue, stop losing your audience by launching tac missiles at them.

Snowbound II: Idiots With Sport Utility Vehicles.

Another thing that irks me is the moron with the SUV. Not to be sexist, but most of the time it's a woman driver, and not because I think they suck as drivers, but because they are the group buying these gas guzzlers. No matter where I am going, if I wait long enough, I'll have some bitch in her friggin' Lincoln Navigator, hubs locked and in four wheel drive, right up my ass in a snow storm. Why? Well, because stupid, she's invincible in that thing, didn't you know?

Men will drive their 4X4 pickups just as aggressively, only seem not to tailgate. Most of the time they'll catch up with someone and give them a good 4 car lengths because they realize something the Navigator driver is completely clueless about: Four wheel drive is great in the snow, but it doesn't stop any better than two-wheel-drive.

So imagine my smug smile when someone has planted their full size SUV in the woods because they couldn't stop, and went right off the road. Oh, these people almost never get hurt, that's a given, and therefore, never learn to stop driving like an ass. I suppose it's a good thing that these people are behind me driving like Richard Petty in the snow and not in front. If they f up, then they lose ground, and if I'm behind them, I'll probably get tangled up.

The other side of the equation are the people terrified by frozen water falling from the sky. I recently got stuck in the early stages of a storm behind someone going so slow, my speedometer didn't even register a speed. I was 3rd in line from this tool, and the line trailed off behind me in a sea of cars. I can't imagine how bad it was.

I suppose both parties should just stay home when it snows. Neither can seem to drive with any discernment, and neither seems to give a crap about other people on the road, either they shove their car right up your ass and try to change your sexual preference, or they drive insanely slow, and won't pull over to let people - who by the way are making them more nervous and drive even slower - pass to be on their way.

The "Bad Boy" Affliction

Today my topic is something I don't think I've ever approached: Girls. Specifically, the American girl with the blonde hair who lived next door to you her whole life and you never had the nerve to ask her out until just last year only to find out she prefers "Bad Boys". Why? Well, she wants to tame one. Yeah, then a few months later you run into her again, she's got a butt steak slapped on her eye and is wearing a cast on her leg. It's obvious someone is kicking the crap out of her. Hmm. Must be that "bad boy". Couldn't tame him, eh?

This is a growing trend among twenty-something American women. Wanting to tame the bad boy. Now, speaking as someone many view as this bad boy, I want to make it clear that there's a fine line between "Bad Boy" and "Ex-Con Material". See, some bad boys are just loud mouthed arrogant assholes. They won't pick a fight with someone their own size because they'd probably lose. They latch on to un-suspecting women, beat them daily, and convince them their whole family will be hurt or dead if they say anything.

Many women are too scared to get out of this situation. Sadly, they often turn up face-down in a ditch with evidence of a strangling looming about. Sure the guy gets caught, but, what does it matter, she's dead. Yeah, you could argue that "He'll never hurt anyone again," but a life was still lost.

Speaking from experience, I can tell you that these guys run like cowards when caught. They have no back-bone at all, and therefore, are not a bad boy. Just a loser with a big mouth. A real "rebel" wouldn't hit a women, he'd more likely hunt down wife beaters and give them a nice physical lesson about the real world.

Yet, women continue to pick these guys, who by the way, often cheat with other women, while beating the hell out of the woman they claim to love. Hmm... Time to re-think the bad boy thing, wouldn't you say?

Thanks to the ever so Funky Space Kat for this link... Help For Domestic Abuse Victims.

Snowbound Idiots Rushing To The Supermarket.

It never fails. Even if good old Hal Burling (random Meterologist name) says we might get a passing snow squall, people rush to the store and make a mad dash for the deli. You know, just in case the planet gets snow bound and we are screwed for a month. Oh, except we don't live in Alaska, and if we did, we'd be able to handle the conditions and get out for food and water supplies.

I'll grant that Massachusetts is not known for it's predictable weather, but that being said, it's also not known for being disastrous either. I can't remember a time in my life where we were so snowed in, it was a situation of perpetual doom. No, not even the "Blizzard Of '78".

But any supermarket clerk will tell you, it's ridiculous to the point of pure lunacy the way people rush to the store at even the slightest mention of a single snow flake. "Holy S, I need Bread, Meat, Batteries and Milk!" -Yeah, except Milk spoils in a warm fridge, unless of course you happen to run a generator and I'm not even going to get into how ridiculous that notion is.

Guys Are Heartless.

This blog coming from a guy may surprise a few people. But over the past few days I've come to a conclusion. Guys are heartless. Now I know the nature of guys is instinctively survival. We screw to save our species. Whether you are an evolutionist or you believe in God, this is our programming.

However, now that the Earth is sufficiently over-populated, it's no longer necessary for "mating" to be a cut-throat operation. However, guys will still do their best to break up a happy relationship. In this day and age, it's every man for himself. Sure there are plenty of fish in the sea, but for some reason, most guys get stuck in one section of the ocean and don't want to leave. The coast guard issued a cease-and-desist, but a few of 'em are still poking around seeing what kind of trouble they can make.

This recently happened to me. I have the sneaking suspicion that one of these invaders were the cause of my recently ended romance. Further, I think if I ever see him I shall use his head for a bowling ball and feed him his own spleen. I have no use for people whom cannot respect someone's happy relationship.

Granted, if a young lady is crying all the time and/or showing up with bruises then intervention is needed, but in the case of a happy relationship it is neither needed nor wanted. Guys should step off and be a real man.

Whether I am wrong or right about my own suspicions, I will say this: Never EVER again will another man steal my woman from our happy relationship, I swear by my own blood, another man who tries this will wish he had never drawn breath. I will no instill physical violence, but he will wish I had.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra Proves Kids Being Robbed.

No, this is not a slam on TSO. This is a review of the 2003 Concert series. Last night, on the 7th of December, TSO played the FLEET CENTER. That's right you little townie pieces of trash, FLEET CENTER!!! The show was phenomenal.

Every year TSO does a great Christmas Program, but this year was over the top. It started with "First Snow" and never looked back. The first song actually played was "Boughs Of Holly" - when I say it started at "First Snow" - I mean the suprises.

The opening riffs were played and the song broke out into full throttle. A rig above the stage exploded in snowfall and lazers were fired from backstage into the arena in tempo with the music creating a musical experience I am SURE shocked many kids right into adult hood.

Beethoven's 5th was an exploding musical triumph with balls of fire shooting upward during climactic points in the song, lazers shining everywhere.

During the grand finale final notes, flames - 20 feet high - shot up from the stage while showers of sparks fell from the rig above the stage. In an explosive conclusion TSO ended a perfect night of Christmas music and lots of flare.

And all for $51.00 for CHOICE seats. Why are people paying similar amounts to see Godsmack, Disturbed, and whatever other band is considered cool for not even a quarter of the show? I have no idea, and after last night, I'm sure either did the kids in the audience.

Strong As Brothers But Perfect Strangers

Full Article Here.

Lancaster is my home town, and anybody who's been watching the news knows this was a big thing. Fire-fighters from all over the nation flew in to memorialize their fallen comrade. I could call them brothers, because in a sense, they are. But at the same time these men are perfect strangers.

What is it that draws these men together in a time of need? Whatever it is, as a nation we could take our cue from these brave soldiers. Yes, they are soldiers. Any man who would march into a blazing inferno to rescue someone they don't even know is, by my or your definition, a soldier.

Martin Macnamara is a symbol of many others who have gone before him. Many of these men, like Martin, are volunteers. Enough positive things cannot be said about our fire departments. But one thing is for certain, every American in exsistance could learn from them.

Over Population

Imagine. 32 million of your closest best buddies crammed into one state. Imagine worse that you could walk across your state in about 2 days max. Now picture Rhode Island. Keep imagining further that you go out at 1:30 in the afternoon and there still seem to be a hundred-thousand people on route 95. Presenting: Over Population.

I live in Massachusetts and it's the same problem only we have more land. A billion people and you can't get away from the mass unwashed unless you happen to hit the road at 2:30 in the morning when no one is up.

The thicker the population gets the ruder, angrier and more selfish the people become. Shoving each other in stores, cutting each other off in traffic and flipping each other the bird, and generally being very unpleasant and hateful towards each other. This leads to a steady downfall of societal structure. You can trust less people, you have to look out for yourself, and most of all, by necessity you look out for number one, because if you stick your neck out, someone will behead you.

Welcome to America. I think I want out.

Michael Jackson: How Does This Guy Get Away With It?

Today Michael Jackson surrendered to authorities over the alleged molestation charge. Hooray. Wait, let me get excited about this. Ok, I'm done.

I cannot get excited about something like this when I know darn will Michael will shell out a lucrative amount of money to get himself out of trouble again. The difference between Michael molesting someone and Uncle Fred molesting someone is that feds would have kicked in Uncle Fred's door, drug him out into the street and shoved his monkey ass, head first, into a waiting cruiser. Michael is given the option to surrender.

Michael will more than likely make a huge settlement again, because as you know, money always erases emotional scars, and fixes all the world's problems (that's why we've been so successful with Korea). I think it really has to do with the fact that he's so ultra huge that people view it as just being Michael Jackson at it again and who really cares? However, if the court systems don't do something, then it looks like we are just massaging his ego.

The truth is Michael Jackson's unit should be removed with a chainsaw and he should get a lobotomy. He sucks as an artist, and he's a circus freak show. Game over, it's time to retire, loser.

Gay Marriage In Massachusetts.

No, unlike the previous times, I'm not going to take a religious stance. I'm going to take a purely homophobic stance (although if there's one thing I'm not afraid of, it's a flaming homosexual who more effeminate than my own sister.)

I'm sick of the homosexual agenda. I'm tired of people who really want to carve this planet up finer amongst themselves. You can lump them together with pedophiles as far as I'm concerned. They are just the same because they want something no-one is comfortable with NOR finds moral, and because they can't have it, they all shove it down our throats.

Next it WILL be pedophiles because they'll see all the success the gays are having. In fact, the pedophiles ALREADY have a petition to eliminate the age-of-consent circulating arguing that pedophilia, like homosexuality is a "lifestyle". Yeah, the conservatives said 20 years ago gays would NEVER allowed to be married. Now look. Pedophiles are next.

Bush Sucks.

The Bush administration is pushing for a major trade deal that would hurt ordinary working Americans by exporting even more jobs. This deal, called the Free Trade Area of the Americas (FTAA), is like the NAFTA agreement of 10 years ago but much bigger. The FTAA would trade away millions more U.S. jobs. -A/P

Great, just as the economy gets better little Georgie drops this bomb. What an ass. He's been cornered with the question about large corporations moving operations off shore where they can save by paying people in toilet countries 30 cents a week, and he returns with this solution? Where the hell is this guys head, the sand?

Jobs are few far and between in this country as is. Former software VIP's are stealing jobs from blue collars because they can't get back into their own field. This puts blue collars out of work. The FTAA will only move the remaining survival jobs over to Toiletstan where we can't get them. In essence, George Bush is causing the country to self destruct.

This guy just doesn't f'ing get it. He keeps making bad decisions that hurt our soldiers, economy, and ultimately, the USA's own citizens. He won't get re-elected, and if he does, he may very well be assassinated by someone who has been directly effected by his extremely poor decision making.

Ugh. More Stupidity Unleashes Itself.

SPAM HAS NEVER been limited to e-mail. But now, commercial pitches are increasingly popping up in online chats, instant messages, cell phones with text messaging and, as Kalsey found, Web log comments.
Spammers are flocking to new communications tools like moths to light, threatening to cripple these tools just as they are beginning to take off.- MSNBC

There is one solution to this: Terminate your comments board. Yeah, I hate to put the 9 milimeter in the hands of the government, but if the FTC doesn't step in and regulate what SPAMMERS are allowed to do, we are going to continue to be molested by these creeps.

I would rather share my neighborhood with a reformed axe-murderer than someone I know is in the SPAM business. Their completely moraless tactics prove they either have no soul, or had one and sold it to Bill Gates. First it was email spam, then it was chat bots, then flash screen blocking ads and now they are taking over my message board. Try it junior. I'll shut you down faster than a blonde at a bar approached by a middle-aged yuppie.

Apologies.

I've been busy this week. Too busy to even get to the computer. Revolver will be back to regular posting status by next week, hopefully. -Vince

Invasion Of The Whining Yuppies!

Ever notice when your town sells a bunch of land, the people who buy the new condos are all the same? You know the type: SUV Driving, Soccer Mom Plagued, Well Dressed, Six Figures A Year, YUPPIES! Dumber than paint yuppies as well.

For those not familiar, a Yuppie is a "Young Urban Professional". For my English Friends, they are the same as a "Townie". Only older and even dumber.

A Yuppie will move next door to a farm that's been in the town for 400 years. After a week of living in their new residence, they promptly call the police and complain about the stench coming from the farm. Well, you tool, welcome to the country, this is how is smells! Moron!

Yuppies are worse than any of the seven plagues of Egypt. They complain about fast food, trans-fats and their chubby children. The same kids they plop in front of the TV for 4 hours a day to watch McDonald's ads. They over-structure their kids, if they structure them at all. Instead of 4-hour marathons of the "Teletubbies", they send them to Soccer, Football, Cheerleading, Basket Weaving and of course, Wicthcraft all in one afternoon all because they feel kids MUST experience all they did in school.

Yuppies don't understand individuality. They all drive SUVs or European Luxury Cars. They are Liberal, and hate guns and smoking. They believe things would be better if they were in charge.

Conclusion: Yuppies Suck.

Welcome to the woodshed, losers.

RIAA Nabs Dangerous 12 Year Old Girl.

Complete Story.

With the RIAA going after individuals for music swapping as a desperation move, the latest development redefines the whole idea of desperation move. The RIAA went after a 12-year old girl for her music sharing habits, and managed to suck out $2000 on top of making her feel very sorry.

"I am sorry for what I have done," LaHara said. "I love music and don't want to hurt the artists I love."

The suit claimed LaHara had been offering more than 1,000 songs on the Internet, using the Kazaa file-sharing service.

The RIAA said it was pleased with the settlement. There are 260 cases still pending.

Ok, wait. Since when did your neice become a major fugitive of the law? Especially when she probably can't afford the lucritive price of a CD to begin with. The RIAA demonstrates here what a toilet of an organization it is. It's run by a bunch of Nazis who want to jail everyone who isn't buying a CD except they are allowed to rape the artists out of money, make failed bands go into bankruptcy, and pocket 80% of the profits themselves.

Instead some jackass judge decides a 12-year-old girl is more dangerous and immoral than the repulsive RIAA. We live in such an unjust society. How any judge can sit on his fat ass and justify a $2000.00 fine to someone who simply isn't old enough to pay it off, is beyond explanation. I hope he chokes on his Escargot. Jerk.

The Liberals Vs. Christianity

Lately, there have been groups of people in this fine country whining about everything religious. I'm actually reaching the point of not quite caring anymore that they hate my guts because I believe in God. In fact, I would like to point out Christians are the only targets of this incessant bitching. No one seems to care what the Buddhists, Hindus, Wiccans, etc. are up to, (they only care about Muslims because Muslims seem to want to take over the planet right now.)

First, it was the whole 10 commandments thing. Some drone got upset, called the authorities, and within a week, we had a court order to remove the monument. Then it was the atheist from Utah who didn't like that "...under God..." exists in the pledge. So immediately, there was a hearing which has now lead to more hearings, and in the end, we'll probably remove God from the pledge as well. Why can't we get this kind of action when our own rights are being attacked? Or when some jackass breaks into our cars? No, if he was parading around town with an assault rifle claiming to steal in the name of God, then you'd see people move.

I'm so sick of this two-faced garbage coming from the Liberals. God sucks. God needs to leave. God can kiss my ass. Blah blah blah. This whole thing is targeting the Christian God, no one else. The real issue here is this country hates Christianity and because it has a stick up its ass, everyone's going to try to make the Christians miserable. Well this is one non-passive believer who says, "You can kiss my ass." Frankly, I'm un-impressed with your feeble attempts to get at me. It's un-effective and pointless. Or, "It's like trying to catch the wind." Idiots. In the event that I'm right and your wrong, what did you accomplish? Personally, I've never preached at any of you, and yet, because I'm associated with the Christian name, I'm also a target.

If you are going to target a deity, target them all. But I don't think Washington has the nerve to do that. They know the Muslims would bomb them, the Wiccans would Hex them, and the Buddhists would probably wage a holy war. So target the Christians, I mean all they do is pray a lot on the countries behalf, and that's just evil.